


i want you for worse or for better (i would wait for ever and ever)

by Lymans



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, based on S2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 20:50:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2555180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lymans/pseuds/Lymans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There’s no coming back from this. This is bigger than ‘romantic styles’ and ‘that was real.’ This is irrevocable."</p><p>What could possibly go wrong on a Valentine's Day weekend with her boyfriend, the guy she might be in love with, and his girlfriend? Yeah sometimes life really seems to have it out for Amy Santiago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want you for worse or for better (i would wait for ever and ever)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on a spoiler we got from Ausiello a couple of weeks ago. So if you don't like knowing anything about upcoming Brooklyn Nine-Nine, maybe look away now. Though full disclosure, the last set of spoilers I used for a fic never came to fruition so who knows if this is spoilery or not! 
> 
> Also we have new Brooklyn Nine-Nine tonight meaning everything is right in the world! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Prompt: _Look for Jake and Amy’s mutual (and suppressed) attraction to come out in the open at the worst possible time: during a couples’ weekend getaway with their respective romantic partners, Sophia and Teddy._

* * *

 

So it happens like this.

Captain Holt briefs his precinct that an infamous drug dealer has found a new crowd to peddle his latest product to, rich Brooklyn residents. His supposed miracle drug, Vertigo, makes its users feel invincible and uber productive for four hours before they crash with a medley of interesting results. All in all it seems rather understandable why it has become popular among exhausted stay at home moms and overworked businessmen. Unfortunately the interesting results that follow its usage have included three heart attacks, one suicide attempt and two domestic violence incidents. That means that it’s the Nine-Nine’s job to crack down on the dealer before it escalates any further.

They spend most of the new year patrolling the streets and tracking down leads which unfortunately tend to up being red herrings or dead ends. It’s not until the start of February that Sergeant Jeffords gets a tip that the dealer has gotten smart and turned their dealing into some form of pyramid scheme to make their business even more lucrative. Whoever is behind this drug has started peddling it to couples and giving them their own stash to sell to their friends who sell their drugs to their friends and so and so forth. The plan seems to be to eventually have every rich couple in New York hooked on the stuff. So far they’ve been lucky in that the drug has remained contained to Brooklyn but Holt reminds them it’s only a matter of time until the drug jumps across the water and enters Manhattan society, turning this into a nationwide story.

Some digging on Peralta’s part leads them to the discovery that some romantic weekend getaways at a small bed and breakfast in the Hamptons are in fact a front for promoting Vertigo and encouraging users to get their friends hooked on it. They leave their hotel with bags of the stuff, bringing it back to Brooklyn and encouraging the spread of the drug.

“So much for couples re-connecting,” Jake laughs as he brings the establishment’s website up on screen for everyone to see. It’s filled with promises of ‘romance, love and togetherness in a tranquil New York setting,’ all with a most likely hefty price tag.

“Good work, Peralta,” Holt says before stepping up to the podium. “This is going to be the third of these events so it’s crucial we get in now and stop it before it gets any further. We need to catch who’s behind this and shut down further production of Vertigo.”

“What’s the plan, sir?” Amy asks.

“A brute force approach isn’t going to work in this situation. It’s Valentine’s weekend meaning the hotel is fully booked with couples. Add in all the members of staff and that leaves us with a lot of potential suspects.”

“Can’t we simply find out who’s running the conference? Surely they get given the drugs at some point.”

“That’s what you would assume. But our informants told us that it was all very underhand and subtle. They never spoke to anyone face to face about dealing the drug.”

“So what do we do?”

“Sergeant Jeffords suggested infiltrating the hotel this weekend and I agree with him that that is the best approach. Gina has managed to get in touch with two of the couples who were supposed to be attending this weekend and get them to swap for a compensated weekend the week after. We’re going to send some of you in their place to do some digging to discover who exactly is behind Vertigo. Peralta has already offered to go undercover, which is surprising to no one.”

“I had no clue what to get Sophia for Valentine’s Day. Now we get a weekend in a romantic hotel and I get to be John McClane. It’s perfect.”

“Please remember you are there to work, Peralta. This is not an action movie. Boyle, would you be able to go as Peralta’s secondary?”

Boyle’s eyes automatically flick over to Gina and he looks hopeful for a moment before shaking his head.

“Um…I would love to but I will be spending Valentine’s alone this year.”

“You would be free to go undercover with someone else, detective. Perhaps Santiago?”

Amy visibly blanches at the idea of pretending to be a couple with Boyle. She can only imagine how unbearable it would be and even her desire to impress Holt can’t bring her to spend a weekend pretending she is in love with Boyle.

“Sir, if you were going to send me, wouldn’t it make sense for me to go with my boyfriend, Teddy?”

As the fatal words leave her mouth, Amy realises she has sealed her own fate.

And that is how Amy finds herself car sharing with Teddy, Jake and Sophia on the way to the Hamptons for a romantic Valentine’s Day.

Sophia is driving since she has the biggest car out of all of them, and Amy really wants to hate her when she shows up at ten in the morning with her fancy car, perfect hair and matching designer luggage set but she’s brought them all Starbucks and is all smiles and hugs making her impossible to actually dislike. Though the fact that Jake arrives with her wearing a smile that tells the world that him and Sophia started their Valentine’s Day celebrations early makes Amy’s heart pang in a way that she really doesn’t want to analyse.

“Feel free to load your luggage into the back,” Sophia says, clicking opening her Range Rover, before passing Amy a drink. “Caramel macchiato with soy milk, right?”

“Thanks. How did you know?”

“Jake told me. I’m terrible at remembering people’s coffee orders.”

Amy can’t stop her gaze from drifting over to Jake and feeling her heart swell at the fact that he remembers her ‘fancy smooshy’ coffee order that he always refuses to buy her because it’s so expensive.

She places her coffee on the sidewalk before trying to lift her luggage into the trunk but then Teddy’s there with his soft grin, picking it up for her with ease.

“Thank you,” she says, standing on tip toe and pressing a kiss to his cheek. It’s early so he hasn’t shaved meaning his stubble his scratchy against her lips in a way that she loves.

And if she chooses to walk a little distance away to call Kylie rather than hovering by Teddy and allowing their conversation to drift onto the topic she’s steadfastly been avoiding for the past few weeks then so be it.

“Morning, bitch,” comes a groggy voice from the other end and Amy rolls her eyes exasperatedly at her best friend.

“You need to stop answering the phone like that.”

“It’s affectionate.”

“It’s really not.”

“Someone’s in a grumpy mood,” Kylie says. “Wait isn’t it your romantic Valentine’s Day with your boyfriends today?”

“Boyfriend. Singular.” She risks a glance over her shoulder to make sure no one is around but Teddy is chatting to Jake and Sophia by the car.

“Yeah but which one?”

“Teddy. Teddy is my boyfriend,” she hisses down the phone.

“That’s not what you said you wanted last month. Drunk Amy has a very different, rather explicit opinion about who her boyfriend should be.”

“You swore you’d never mention that again. I was drunk; it doesn’t count.”

“In Vino Veritas and all that,” she laughs and Amy curses herself for her choice in friends.

“Not ‘in vino veritas.’ I was drunk and rambling. Teddy is who I’m dating and I l…” She trails off because however hard she tries, she still can’t say those three little words.

“Amy,” Kylie says and this time her tone is far more sympathetic. “Just be careful this weekend alright. You’re wandering into a messy situation with a lot of messy feelings. If you’re not careful, someone is going to get really hurt.”

“It’ll be okay,” she says but she’s not sure if she’s saying it for Kylie’s benefit or hers. “I’ll give you a ring when I’m back in the city tomorrow night.”

“Have a good time.”

The fact that a phone call to her best friend hasn’t left her any calmer irritates Amy as she hangs up the phone and walks back to the waiting vehicle. Jake’s on the phone with Captain Holt but both Sophia and Teddy are waiting in the car so she joins Teddy in the back, grateful he’s left the seat behind the front passenger one free. The last thing she feels like doing is spending the next two hours staring at Jake.

After a couple more minutes he hangs up the phone and hops in before peering around the seat to look at Amy.

“Holt says to keep him updated via phone or email on what’s happening. And he said a couple of the witnesses both mentioned a tall, blonde woman so at least we’ve got somewhere to start our search.”

“Sounds good. The most important thing is going to be keeping our ears to the ground and trying to figure out how they’re getting this stuff.”

“It’s not going to be all work all weekend, is it?” Sophia asks as she pulls away from the kerb. “I did bring some case work just in case.”

“No, I promised you a romantic weekend and that’s what you’ll get. I’m going to give you the full Peralta experience.”

Amy doesn’t need to see Jake’s face or hear Sophia’s laugh to know he’s waggling his eyebrows pervertedly at her, and she forces her brain to focus on anything other than what their romantic weekend is going to involve.

Unfortunately for her Teddy worked the late shift last night chasing down a perp so he falls asleep before they’re even out of Brooklyn. And her other travelling companions are deep in conversation about a movie they watched last night, leaving Amy alone with her thoughts, the last thing she wants. So she digs her kindle and iPod out of her bag and loses herself in Amy Poehler’s autobiography and some Coldplay.  

The New York scenery passes by outside their window, the city giving away to the quiet of the suburbs. They drive pass white houses with their neatly manicured lawns and children playing in the remaining slush from the winter’s latest snowfall. Amy sees the remnants of a snowman on one lawn, jaunty top hat still on his head, and it makes her smile because it’s so reminiscent of her own childhood in New Jersey. She’s always thought that she’d like to raise her potential children somewhere where they can have a garden and ride their bikes in the street. She had that growing up and she would like the same for them.

But eventually even the suburbs disappear. Instead there are bare trees, their thin branches swaying in the wind, and the Great River surrounding them as they pass Nicoli Bay, a sign they’re now closer to the Hamptons than the city.

“Have you ever been to the Hamptons before?” Sophia asks Amy, catching her eye in the mirror and drawing Amy out of her reverie.

She pulls her earphone out before shaking her head. “No I haven’t. I’m normally working in the summer or in Jersey. The only stuff I’ve seen of the Hamptons is from Revenge and that episode of Sex and the City.”

Sophia laughs. “It’s basically like that only with less backstabbing and murder.”

“You’ve been then?”

“My parents bought a house there when I was a teenager so we used to spend our summers in East Hampton. It’s a lovely place though I think it’s better seen in the summer than the winter!”

“Well maybe we’ll have to come again in the summer,” Jake chimes in.

Put Amy on the witness stand and she’ll swear it didn’t feel like she was just punched in the gut. She knows Jake isn’t talking to her when he mentions visiting again. He only means Sophia and him, coming back to the Hamptons in the summer, six months from now, because that’s what couples do. They make plans and holiday together.

Stuffing her earphones back in, she returns her attention to the view outside, book abandoned on her lap. The snow has returned here, still untouched in the countryside. And, just for a moment, she allows herself to imagine what it would be like to drive along this road in the summer with Jake at her side. They’d be squabbling for control of the radio and he’d be making terrible jokes as he snacked on sweets that were bound to be rotting his gums. As the sun shone he’d laugh at something she said and press a kiss on her bare arm, his lips warm against her skin.

Guilt floods through her as Teddy stirs beside her, reaching out his hand in sleep for hers. Teddy is her boyfriend. Wonderful, kind, perfect Teddy who she’s been dating for almost a year now. Today is Valentine’s Day and next week will be their first anniversary yet she’s sat here fantasising about a non-existent holiday with a man who’s moved on to somebody else.

She’s done so well over the past couple of months ignoring her developing feelings for Jake, drunken night with Kylie aside, and she isn’t going to let one trip unravel that. They’re both happy with other people and that’s the important thing. So she reaches out and takes Teddy’s hand in hers before turning back to her book, her vantage point leaving her unable to see the look that crosses Jake’s face as he catches sight of the pair of them holding hands.

It takes another hour, thanks to traffic, for them to reach civilization again as they reach Southampton and Amy is thankful to find their hotel isn’t far off Route 27. They pull into the drive of a large beach house with a huge circular drive. A few guests are milling around in the entrance but otherwise the only people in sight are the bellboys and valets.

“May I help with your bags, ma’am?” a young boy asks as Amy climbs out of the SUV and she tries not to wince at the fact that she’s now a ma’am.

She’s about to respond when he spots Sophia opening the trunk and he hurries off to help her. Typical.

“This place is pretty fancy, isn’t it?” Jake asks and she jolts when she finds him standing right next to her staring up at their hotel. Mentally she reminds herself to be cool before nodding.

“I’m getting the feeling the guests who stay here aren’t the type of people who spend their lives in public service.”

“I knew we were in the wrong line of work.”

“We don’t do it for the money, Jake,” she scolds.

“No, we do it for the glory.” He instinctively ducks out of her way as she swings an arm out to swat him. “I know, I know, we do it because we’re good people and like saving the world or whatever.”

“So what’s our plan?” she whispers, moving closer to him.

“I figure this afternoon we wander around and try to chat to as many people as possible. Listen out for any mentions of Vertigo or suspect packages.”

“Suspect packages?”

“What? We have no idea how people are getting the drugs at this thing! A suspect package seems to be a safe bet.”

“Fine. I will keep my ear to the ground and listen out for people discussing suspicious packages.” She winks at Jake before following Teddy inside.

She is not flirting with Jake. Definitely not.

“Good afternoon and welcome to Martha’s Inn. My name is Stephanie. Are you checking in?”

Jake catches Amy’s eye and they both do their best to hide their smirks at the overly peppy receptionist whom Rosa would eat alive within the first ten seconds.

“Yes we’re checking in. Party of four. The name’s McClane.”

“Yes, here we go. I’ve got a Jake McClane and Amy Lockhart in room 41 and…”

“No, that’s not right,” Amy interrupts.

“Yeah I’m with her,” Jake says, pointing to Sophia. “And she’s with him.”

“Oh I’m so sorry. There must have been some kind of mix-up during the booking. I can easily fix that for you.” She types away on her computer, broad smile still firmly in place. “So I’ve got Jake McClane plus one in room 41 and Amy Lockhart plus one in room 42. Both are ocean view rooms with queen size beds and private terraces. I hope you enjoy your stay and if you have any questions, feel free to talk to either myself or our concierge, Marcel.”

The foursome happily excuse themselves from her never-ending peppiness and make their way to the elevators with bellboys trailing behind them.

“This place is beautiful,” Teddy says, his gaze scanning the lobby which looks like a Valentine’s Day canon exploded in it with heart shaped balloons and streamers everywhere.

“It really is.”

“And pretty romantic.”

He takes his hand in hers and she squeezes it tight. They’re on a romantic vacation – sure it’s for work but a paid vacation at a Hamptons inn is better than most of her holidays – over Valentine’s weekend. This is the perfect weekend she normally dreams of. The least she can do is make the most of it. And maybe the romantic atmosphere will finally give her the guts to say the three little words she’s been struggling with.

So she leans into Teddy in the elevator and refuses to even think about what Jake and Sophia are giggling about, instead talking to Teddy about whether he wants to go for a walk on the beach after dinner.

Their rooms are right next to each other and both have incredible views over the ocean. Amy doesn’t even want to imagine how much it would cost to stay here if the NYPD weren’t footing the bill, which reminds her that she’s going to have to make sure Jake doesn’t crazy on the freebies this weekend. They’re here for work not to raid the minibar and order lobster every night.

Teddy offers to help out with their investigating and a fresh perspective on all of this can’t do any harm so she brings him along with her after briefing him on Jake’s plan of action. He volunteers to stake out the gym and chat to some of the trainers, an activity Jake is happy to pass on to him, and Sophia offers to listen out for anything while she’s in the spa for the afternoon. Jake offers to set up camp at the bar but Amy drags him away from that idea quickly, imagining the Captain’s face at him getting an itemised bar bill.

“We’ll sit by the pool. No one’s out at the outdoor pool in this weather so it’s the only other place people are going to be spending time if they’re not venturing into town.”

“Race you to be the first one changed and by the pool.”

“Race? We’re not children, Jake. We’re here for-“

But then he’s gone, sprinting for the elevators, and her competitive edge can’t stop her from chasing after him. They get back to their room at the same time but Amy curses herself for choosing a fancy swimsuit with cut-outs. She hears Jake’s hotel room door close again as she’s stood topless in her room, half in and half out of her costume. Grumbling she finally tugs it on and grabs her key card, towel and book before hurrying for the stairs. But Jake is already stretched out on a lounger when she walks in to the pool.

She thinks it’s in her imagination that his eyes roam over her for longer than is strictly necessary as she walks towards him. And she definitely has to be imagining the way he audibly swallows and shifts on his lounger before greeting her.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Amy.”

“Shut up, Jake.”

“You brought a book with you? Seriously?”

“I figured I might get bored with your witty company. I’m going to go sit over that side.”

She wanders over to the other side of the pool before choosing to sit beside a tall brunette who’s reading Gone Girl.

“I love that book,” she says to her pool companion as she sits next to her and she’s happy to see the woman lowers her book and smiles over at her.

“I’ve been meaning to read it for ages but this is the first holiday I’ve had in forever.”

“I know just what you mean. This book has been sat beside my bed since I bought in October.”

“What is it you do?”

“I’m a lecturer at NYU,” Amy says, turning to her go to cover identity. “What about you?”

“I work in Applied Sciences at Harper Global. It’s exhausting and I have been looking forward to this break for months.”

“Are you here with your boyfriend?

“Girlfriend. Well fiancée now. It’s a Valentine’s Day treat for us. To be honest I think she’s just happy she’s getting to see me for more than a couple of hours. How about you? Is that your boyfriend?” she asks, nodding over to Jake.

“Him? No, no, no, no, no, he’s not my boyfriend, no. He’s just a friend. We both came with our partners. Sort of a couples’ getaway.”

“Cool. I’m Melanie by the way.”

“Amy, nice to meet you.”

They chat for almost an hour until Melanie excuses herself to get ready for dinner, telling Amy to come over so she can meet Teddy and Amy can meet Charlie.

“Any luck?” Amy asks as she dives into the pool and swims over to Jake who’s drifting along the edge.

“I’ve got a guy, Mark, who definitely sounds like he’s used Vertigo at least once. And he mentioned something about a welcome letter in his room that we didn’t have. This doesn’t seem like the kind of hotel that scrimps on customer care.”

“Meaning it’s most likely been left by our guy. We need to see that letter.”

“What did you find out?”

“I’ve got a woman who works in Applied Sciences so she’d definitely have access to the chemicals necessary to manufacture Vertigo. But she doesn’t seem like the type to be spending her spare time dealing drugs. It sounds like her work is all-consuming.”

“It’s worth keeping an eye on though.”

“That’s what I thought so I arranged for us to meet up at dinner. Smart.”

“Good work, Santiago.” He high fives her happily and for a moment it feels like old times before messy feelings got in their way. But then she becomes acutely aware of the fact that they’re in a pool wearing very little and standing ridiculously close to each other.

And she wants to move but she finds that she can’t because there’s a look in his eyes that she can’t tear herself away from. It’s the same way he looked at her when he came back from being undercover five months ago. It makes her feel like she’s the most important person in the world.

They stand there in the water like that for longer than either of them would care to admit, staring at each other, each of them too scared to move and break this fragile moment. She wonders if her expression is as open as his is and if he can read everything that she’s feeling in that moment. And she can’t help but wonder what would happen if she kissed him right now.

Then the moment is shattered by the sound of a laughing couple diving into the pool and the pair of them spring apart as if they’ve just been caught in a compromising position.

“I should go find Sophia,” Jake says, scrambling to get out of the pool.

“And I should get ready for dinner.”

Of course the problem with making a speedy escape when you are staying in rooms right next to each other is that you have to head in the exact same direction. That leads to an awkward elevator ride as they stand next to each other, each wrapped in their towels and trying to figure out what to say.

“Jake,” she finally plucks up the courage to say, “about back in the pool.”

“Forget about it, Amy,” he says definitively as the elevator doors ping open and he walks out without even looking back.

So that’s that then.

She hovers by the elevator until Jake disappears into his room and then she lets herself into her own hotel room to find Teddy laying across the bed watching some old western on TV.

“Hey, babe,” he says, leaping off the bed and kissing her. “Did you have any luck?”

“We’ve got a couple of leads. How about you?”

“No, nothing much. The towel boy was obviously stoned out of his mind but can you blame him when he has to spend his teenage years here? Sorry I wasn’t much help.”

“Thank you for at least trying. Most guys would grumble about spending their Valentine’s Day investigating a drug deal.”

“Well you’re not most girls. You’re something special, Amy,” he says and the look in his eyes makes her panic because this is normally the moment where he tells her he loves her and she mumbles some kind of expression of gratitude or reciprocation without actually saying the l word.

“I was going to jump in the shower before dinner. I smell all chlorine-y.”

“Well Jake mentioned getting a couple of drinks at the bar before dinner so I thought I might join him, scout out the bartender and see if he’s suspicious.”

“And if that happens to involve you having a few Pilsner’s then I’m sure you’ll take that bullet, won’t you?”

“You know me too well, Amy. I’ll see you downstairs.” He pauses by the door. “Did you still want to go to the beach after dinner?”

“Sounds good,” she says and then he’s gone.

As the door closes behind him, Amy can’t stop herself from breathing a sigh of relief and then she feels herself flood with guilt. Teddy is the perfect boyfriend. She should be overjoyed to be spending Valentine’s Day in a romantic hotel with a man who loves and adores her. This is the kind of relationship she has always wanted. Yet, as she climbs into the shower, letting the scalding water wash over her, she allows the deep truth that she has been steadfastly ignoring for the past couple of months to sink in.

She doesn’t love Teddy.

It’s the cold hard truth, one she hasn’t even ever admitted to herself. On paper, Teddy is the perfect guy, the one she’s always dreamt of marrying one day, the one you bring home to meet your parents, the one you grow old with. He’s kind, smart, sensible, sweet, and dependable – all the things she’s always wanted in a guy. He lives in a proper grown-up apartment, has a decent credit score, works out, eats healthily, reads the news every day – he is, in every sense of the word, a grown-up. From whatever way she looks at it, he is perfect for her.

Yet there is one tiny problem. Her feelings haven’t developed any further than the affection she felt for him in the early stages of their relationship. She’s not in love with him, no matter how perfect he is.

 _Opposites attract_ her brain supplies in the silence as she washes her hair.

That’s the deep dark truth she has only admitted once after a number of Jaeger bombs with Kylie over the holidays. When she pictures her future, her wedding, her children, her old age, when she pictures what her heart truly wants, it’s not Teddy she wants standing next to her for all of that.

It’s Jake.

Goofy, ridiculous, man-child Jake Peralta is the man she’s somehow ended up picturing building a life with. He’s everything she’s always avoided in men. He may have grown up over the past year but he’s still something of a child. He eats fruit roll-ups for breakfast, even with all of her protests, and lives in apartment a twenty-four year-old would be embarrassed to call home. But somehow, with him, those things don’t matter.

She’s seen so many different sides of Jake since they became partners and in a way she can’t explain they all come together to be the man she loves.

She loves Jake Peralta.

If this was a romantic comedy then this would be the moment that Jake shows up at her door and confesses his love too. But instead she walks out of the bathroom to an empty hotel room and the faint murmur of the television from Jake’s room.

There is some deep and unfunny irony in the fact that she has finally begun to share Jake’s feelings at the exact moment that he’s settled into an actual adult relationship for the first time in forever.

Sitting on the bed wrapped only in a towel with water from her wet hair dripping onto her back, Amy can’t help but wonder if her life could get into any more of a mess.

Sighing, she pushes herself up off her bed and exchanges her towel for underwear, deciding to blow dry her hair before putting on the dress she picked out for tonight. God knows how she’s going to get through the most romantic night of the year on a double date with the man she loves and the man she’s going to have to break up with sooner rather than later.

Her frustrations only continue however as she roots through her suitcase in the search for her hairdryer and comes up empty. But then she remembers the late night text she sent to Teddy telling him she had left it at his place and asking for him to bring it to her. Moving across the room, she unzips her boyfriend’s suitcase and hunts carefully through his neatly packed belongings.

Then her heart stops.

What she pulls out of her suitcase is most definitely not her hairdryer. Instead in her hand she holds a small square black box. For a long moment she simply stares at it wondering if she’s really seeing what she’s holding. Then, with trembling fingers, she opens it slowly before dropping the velvet box like it’s burned her.

Nestled amongst the black velvet is a beautiful square cut diamond ring.

And just like that, Amy’s entire, carefully constructed life crumbles down around her and she descends into what can only be described as a full-blown freak out.

The next twenty minutes of Amy’s life are a blank. All she knows is that one moment she’s stood in her underwear staring at a ring that presents the future she should want, and the next she’s in some dive bar in jeans and a t-shirt downing a double rum and coke without even blinking.

“Another,” she mutters to the barman before sliding two twenties across the bar. “Keep ‘em coming. Every time my glass is empty, you give me a new one.”

“You okay, lady?” the bartender asks as he refills her glass.

“You have no idea.”

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out to see Teddy’s face looking up at her from the screen. With a heavy heart she hits decline call and watches as thirty seconds later her phone flashes up with a voicemail from Teddy that she easily ignores.

For as long as she can remember, she has known exactly what she’s wanted out of life. She wants to be married by thirty-five, Captain by forty, have two kids, live in the suburbs, be a mentor and role model to women coming up through the academy and eventually retire to the lecture circuit before finally moving to New England to grow old with her husband in a beautiful house where her children and grandchildren will come and visit.

That has always been the plan.

Freaking out over a Valentine’s Day engagement from the perfect guy right on schedule is not a part of the plan.

 Her phone buzzes again on the bar only this time Jake’s face appears, grinning up goofily from the screen.

“Hi.”

“Santiago, where are you? We’re supposed to be having dinner in a minute and you’re a no-show. Teddy’s freaking out over you getting kidnapped by drug dealers or something.”

Guilt floods her for the millionth time. She hadn’t even thought about how her disappearing in the middle of a case would look to everyone else.

“Shit. I didn’t think. I haven’t been kidnapped. I am fine.”

There’s silence for a moment before Jake asks, “Santiago, are you drinking?”

“A little.”

“Where the hell are you?”

“I am at a bar called…something.” She trails off and hunts down the coaster lying further down the bar. “It’s called ‘The Laughing Pig.’ That is a terrible bar name. Why would a pig be laughing?”

“Amy, why on earth are you at a bar on Valentine’s Day?”

“My life is officially a wreck. So I am going to spend the rest of the night here getting gloriously drunk until I figure out a new life plan.”

With that she hangs up on Jake and downs the rest of her drink. And as if by magic, a new one appears in front of her.

“Thank you, Linus.”

She nurses her drink slowly this time, wondering how she’s ended up here and what on earth is wrong with her that she couldn’t simply be happy that Teddy wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

It takes ten minutes for the bell above the door to ring and for someone to slip into the seat next to her. But when she looks up expecting Teddy to beside her, she instead finds Jake.

“What are you doing here?”

“My mom taught me it’s bad manners to leave a girl drinking alone in a bar. Plus you know how much I love drunk Amy.”

 “If you’re sitting here with me then you’ve at least got to be drinking.” She signals to the barman who brings over two more double rum and cokes.  

“I don’t drink this,” he says.

“You do if you’re drinking with me. It’s excellent at numbing feelings.”

“So do you want to explain exactly what brought you here?” he asks, sipping at his drink suspiciously.

“Teddy is going to propose tonight.” Amy doesn’t need to look up to know Jake’s reaction as he chokes in shock on his drink. “I told you my life was a wreck.”

Jake takes longer than she expects to respond and when she looks up she can see the conflicted expression on his face.

“So your perfect boyfriend is going to propose,” he says with a hint of bitterness in his tone. “Isn’t that a good thing?” All she can manage is to laugh at his response. “Did I say something funny?”

“I have the perfect boyfriend ready to propose on the perfect day and all I can think about is how much I wish it was you.”

The words tumble out unfiltered due to six shots of rum currently swirling through her system but she can’t even bring herself to retract them or to act ashamed at her words. When you’re life is already a mess, what’s a little more carnage?

And for once it’s Jake’s turn to be stunned.

“What?”

“You heard me. I can’t get engaged to Teddy because I don’t love him, because I’m in love with you,” she says, twisting on her stool so she’s facing Jake. “And isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? I have fallen in love with you right as you’ve moved on from me to some amazing woman who probably does things in bed that I wouldn’t even know about.”

“Amy, you are very drunk and you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“No, here’s the thing, I do! I know I’ve got a lot of rum going through the system right now so you’re thinking I am talking rubbish but I’m telling the truth. I don’t love Teddy. I want to love Teddy. I want to love him so much. He is perfect for me. He is the guy I am supposed to love. But I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s killing me. The past couple of months I have had to do everything I can to _not_ feel anything for you. Seeing you with Sophia has been killing me and I don’t even have a right to say that because you’ve been in my shoes and you never turned into a drunken mess rambling at me about your feelings. The whole time you were telling me that you liked me and wanted something to happen between us, I didn’t even realise how much I liked you. And by the time I did, you’d moved on. So now I’m dating a guy who wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I want to break up with him, and I’m in love with you and you’re planning romantic holidays with someone else. So excuse me if I spend the rest of the night drowning my sorrows and reconfiguring my life plan.”

Without waiting for a response, she shoves her stool back from the bar and stumbles out of the bar, ignoring Jake calling after her.

The beach is just across the road and she happily lies back on the deserted sand, thankful for the beer blanket that’s keeping her from feeling the cold. She closes her eyes, listening to the sound of the sea crashing against the shore, until her peacefulness away from the rest of the world is shattered by Jake’s voice.

“Santiago,” he yells and for the first time she can remember in a long time, he sounds pissed.

“Jake?”

As she sits up, she sees him coming stumbling over the sand, jacket in hand and a furious look on his face.

“You think you can just say stuff like that and then walk out? You love me? What gives you the right to say you’re in love with me?”

“Well that’s offensive. I tell you that I love you and you’re mad. It’s almost like I told you I loved you and then disappeared for six months undercover,” she snaps back.

“Those two are not the same!”

“How are they not?” She stands up, brushing sand off her jeans and glaring at him, cursing their height difference.

“I-“

“Exactly! You told me how you felt and then you ran away, leaving me to deal with what you’d said. And then you showed up again and I know you expected me to have done something but what was I meant to do? It’s you! You play practical jokes and eat like a ten-year-old and you’re not supposed to love me.”

“Well thank you for making it clear what you think of me!” he yells back and when did this turn into a fight?

“Shut up, Jake!” she shouts, shoving him with as much force as she can manage. “I don’t care about any of that! Those six months when you were away, I missed like you crazy! But I didn’t even let myself think about what that might mean because you’re you and I’m me. Things are meant to be a certain way and you and me aren’t one of those things. We’re not supposed to be together. That’s what I thought for a long time. But now I’ve realised that that’s bullshit. Sure you can be an immature idiot sometimes but I also know that you are kind and sweet and funny and wonderful and so amazing. The fact that a guy like you even exists in our line of work is incredible. You’re the most incredible guy I know.” She takes a breath, the fight leaving her and she drops down onto the sand, signalling for Jake to join her. And he does but he doesn’t say a single word, leaving her with no idea what he’s thinking. “I know you’re with Sophia now but I’m not going to pretend I’m not in love with you.”

And then the importance of this moment hits her. This is more than an admission of feelings. Suddenly she’s overwhelmed with the understanding of just how pivotal this conversation is. This is one of those moments that she will look back on years from now as one of the most important conversations she’s ever had. No matter what happens in her future, it will be shaped by this conversation. Because it’s all or nothing. There’s no coming back from this. This is bigger than ‘romantic styles’ and ‘that was real.’ This is irrevocable. Either Jake will share her feelings and they’ll start a life together or she’s going to have to start hunting for a job transfer.

So she takes a deep breath and jumps off the cliff.

“I don’t want to hold anything back. I love you, Jake. I love everything about you, even the parts that infuriate me. So if you decide that you still have feelings for me and want to see what could happen between us then you should know that I’m still going to feel the same no matter how long it takes.” When he doesn’t say anything or react, she sighs and stands up. “I’m going to go back to the hotel and talk to Teddy. Then I’ll get a train back to the city in the morning and I’ll explain to Holt on Monday that I got food poisoning and had to come home. I’ll offer to work overtime to make up for it. My feelings shouldn’t jeopardise an investigation.”

Jake still doesn’t say anything and Amy’s hit with the horrible feeling that she has made a complete fool of herself for no reason.

“Bye, Jake.”

His silence as she walks away kills her more than anything else.

By Monday morning Amy is single again and preparing a transfer to a detective opening in homicide at the 71st that offers the potential to make sergeant within a year.

All in all it’s not the worst aftermath of an emotional confession she’s ever had.

But then Jake strolls in looking aggravatingly unflustered by the weekend’s events, two cups of coffee in hand. He stops to chat to Boyle, not even glancing in her direction, before approaching their desk and passing her one of the coffees without a word or even meeting her gaze.

With a frown she takes the coffee cup before noticing there’s a number scrawled on the side.

“Um, Jake,” she says after steeling herself with a deep breath. “I think you gave me the wrong cup.”

He glances up before shaking his head and standing up. “No, that’s yours. Maybe you should call the number.”

And then he walks off towards the evidence locker without another look.

She stares confusedly at the number for a few seconds before dialling the number uncertainly. Someone picks up at the other end but doesn’t speak.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this the cute cop who works at the Nine-Nine?”

The voice at the other end is worryingly familiar.

“Jake?”

“Hush. Just go with it,” he mutters before continuing. “So are you the cute cop who transferred from the 56th yesterday? The one who refused to work with me because, and I quote, ‘he’s currently acting like a child and having a roller chair derby in the bullpen.’”

Her face flushed as she recalled her first day at the 99th when she had written off her potential partner as a hopeless man-child who had no place being a detective.

“That’d be me.”

“Awesome. I couldn’t help but notice how cute you looked when you brought in your first arrest, that guy who stole ten grand from his grandma, and you had this massive grin on your face because you’d done it all by yourself on your first day as part of the Nine-Nine. So I wanted to ask you out because you’re cute and I’m cute and I think you should give me a chance.”

“Jake, what are you doing?”

“Just come to the evidence room. This was supposed to be romantic but I don’t think it’s working.”

She’s left with the dialling tone and no choice but to follow her partner into the evidence room.

He’s leaning against a stack of files waiting for her and he grins brightly when she approaches.

“What the hell is going on? You haven’t said a word to me since the night at the beach.”

“I had a lot of thinking to do. And I didn’t want to screw this up. Because you need to know that if we’re doing this then I am all in. I’m doing what I should have done the day I met when I couldn’t help but notice your dorky smile and overeager attitude.”

“And you thought a Starbucks phone number was the way to do this?”

“Well I couldn’t recreate yelling drunkenly on the beach because that’s your thing now.”

She wants to joke with him but there are too many questions flooding her brain.

“What about Sophia?”

“I broke up with her last night. She knew there was something between us so I don’t think she was that surprised honestly.”

“So that’s it. You’re just ready for us to try this now?”

“I’ve been ready for this for a long time. I’ve just been waiting for you get to this place too.”

There’s so much more she wants to say to him. But if this is them doing this for real then they’re going to have all the time in the world to talk and figure all of this out.

So she steps forward and does the thing she’s wanted to do most of all for a long time.

She kisses him.

It’s a soft and gentle kiss, one filled with promises of everything that’s to come. It’s not overwhelmingly passionate or loving. Instead it’s a kiss that marks the beginning of something spectacular. Jake slips an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, and she happily tangles her fingers in his hair as she kisses him for all she’s worth.

Eventually they reluctantly pull apart because this is work and people are going to notice them both being missing for this long.

“You should come over to my place after work.”

“I’d like that,” he says before kissing her again and slipping out of the evidence locker.

Amy can’t help but wonder if this is the craziest thing the two of them have ever done.

But, deep down, she has a feeling that it might actually be the best.


End file.
